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Th names Selle . A typical fifteen living her life to th fullest . I'm just like any other , I talk , i play , i party crazily . Yes, i do smile stupidly at the computer when someone says something cute. & of course , i do love .

Telling me no

Saying other things.

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Posted on
Thursday, July 8, 2010

Sad sad sad ,
how .. D:

I'm counting down to 6 more days . >:
When th happy moment , and th unhappy moments started ..
Hmmm ,
going to pasir ris park alone on tht day .
I'm not going to laugh nor giggle ,
i'm just going to cry everything out on tht day .

I thought i could let go ,
but i guess my heart is still in pain cause of wht happened .

I dreamt about you today ,
we patch-ed back .
You were at my house eating dinner happily with me ,
i was still going out with you after i bathe ,
but after tht you became damn sad ,
& i woke up .
Just because you frowned ,
i actually tear-ed .
I didn't want to see you frown ,
nor see you sad at all . :/
It just breaks my heart . D:

I was fcuking happy until i woke up . >:
I slapped myself hard ,
telling myself tht we couldn't & we will not .
Hahzxc ,
dream is just another fantasy . <:

I tried killing myself again . Fun yet i didn't feel any pain ,
compared to th heart ,
this pain doesn't count as much huh . :/

I still kept your picture in my comp ,
idk why .
I tried deleting and yet ,
th com said , " Cannot delete file : cannot read from source . "
I couldn't even move it away from my desktop . x_x
So it's there .
Just like th pain you left in my heart . D:

Never gone . :/

I just miss you so much . x_x
Its been so long , so so so long .
Even after so long ,
everytime after i break up i'll tell myself ,
"He is still th best .."
Whts with tht . x_x

Why can't you just get out of my mind and heart ! D:

I'm so fcuking pissed !
I shouldn't have even trusted you !
I shouldn't have given you so many chances !
I shouldn't have fetched you to and fro from school !
I shouldn't have hugged you !
I shouldn't have done anyt !
I shouldn't even have loved you .. >:
Your messages ,
are still in my phone ,
th anniversary date never erased ,
your hurtful memories still kept in my mind and heart .

You're just th first person who let me know wht is love ,
& th first person who let me experience so much pain .

You're first for everything ,
i loved you whole heartedly ,
wht about you ?..
Its all fake ..

My friend asked ,
"Wht would you do if you saw him again ?"

I replied ,
"Kill him ."

Thts not wht i had in mind ..
My real answer is ,
" Hug him , and whisper to him : As long as you're happy , you know i'm here . I'm waiting .. "

Everything is just not right , anymore . D:
Ever since you left ,
tht emptyness has always been there ,
tht insecurity has never left ,
my heart was never found .

Haiszxc ,
how tragic . ._.

Is like , i'm dead yet still living like a normal person .
1st december , 12.01am , 2009 .

My heart stopped beating .

Promises ,
broken .

Hmmm ,
mourning over this now might not help x_x

But i can't help myself .
I'm such an ass .
Haiszxc ._.

Why am i silly enough to wait for you .